This time last year, I was finishing up the month long Reverb project, which had me reflecting on all kinds of questions about the past year and what I had planned for the next. One of the questions was on the word I would give for the next year, and I chose love as my word. Love for my then-fiancé, now-husband. Love for my family and friends. Love, I suppose for my work and my community and my city.
For the most part, this year has been filled with love. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t some very trying times. I did not love planning a wedding. I did not love airport security. I did not love being exiled from our apartment because of an oil leak caused by Hurricane Irene. Even people in my life, both an intimate part and tangentially related, caused some stress and grief this year that I did not particularly love or enjoy.
But through it all, I also was reminded that love is above all a choice, a choice that is expressed through day-to-day actions. Sometimes it’s easier to act and feel love, but this year taught me that most of the time you have to rely on your choice to give love. That’s the only way it will really survive the hard times, because I think if you were only able to love during the good times, most of us would end up alone. It’s loving someone even when they make it difficult that can end up being the most rewarding.
So that’s one thing I’ve learned about love this year.
In my Stratejoy Joy Council this month, we were asked to pick a them for 2012. A lot of women either chose something that was a kind if action, like being mindful, or they picked an attitude, like joyful. Or a combination of the two.
I gave my theme a lot of thought, but when I finally picked it, it seemed rather obvious.
Honestly it doesn’t seem quite as exciting as some of the other themes I read, but my fits me so well. I think so often in my life, I pick what is easy. Its easier to stay home and not work out. It’s easier to eat what I want and not worry about calories. It’s easy to stay home and not make an effort and risk rejection. It’s easier to watch TV than get creative with writing or photography. Its easier to feel sorry for myself than try to improve myself. It’s easier to fester with emotions than to bare my soul with someone and get help for issues I’m struggling with.
But easy rarely means healthy and I want to be healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally. I want to know that what I’m doing is best for me, not just what feels good in the present moment, or what is easy or less threatening. The choices you need to make in 2012 might not always be what you want to make, but that doesn’t make them any less right or important or healthy.
So that’s what I want to learn and explore in 2012.